This week, we’re in Prague and what better place to find love, right?! As per the usual, Chris Harrison meets the gentlemen in the middle of the city to explain the rules of the week, which this time around is four dates. Then he tells them, “Go find your hotel,” as if they’re being dropped out of a helicopter and have the find the golden treasure.
The guys wait for the first date card in the hotel room, and it’s once again V-Neck City. Arie gets the first date card, which says “Let’s Czech Out Prague.” ZING!
Emily doesn’t have a plan for her date with Arie, she just wants to walk around Prague with her handy-dandy Prague manual and grill him about his loyalty. Before Emily dives head first into the Did-You-Or-Did-You-Not-Date-My-Producer Session, they walk around Prague, have some hot wine (ew) and rub statues of dogs.
Emily knows that Arie is hiding something from her and she’s determined to make him come clean. Hell, Arie could be hiding a vagina from me at this point and I don’t think it would matter. Did you see those kisses?!
Chris Harrison pops up on my screen like he’s about to stage an intervention and explains that ten years ago, Arie dated Cassie, one of the show’s producers. Then, Emily is shown talking to Cassie about the situation and personally, I couldn’t agree with her more. I’m not bothered by the fact that he dated her at all, I just think it’s bizarre that no one told her. And it’s more than obvious that it was all for the drama effect. Which became even more apparent when Arie and Emily’s conversation about the situation wasn’t shown. He must have said something to the effect of “I was told not to tell you.”
By nighttime, Emily is over the Arie/Cassie drama and ready to suck face under the stars. She tells him that she hopes she gets to meet his family and is wondering what outfits she’ll wear. Hmm… Think he’s getting a rose? Cassie who? And then, Arie drops the L-Bomb, telling him that Croatia did it for him and he loves her. Croatia did it for me too. That wall. AH.
According to the date card, in Prague, all you need is love, but unfortunately for Wolf, that’s not true. You also need steamy, passionate kissing scenes or bitch-tears like Chris pulled through with. Emily says that this date has to be kicked into high gear because things with Wolf are moving a bit slower. And by high gear, she meant “Throw me up against a wall and kiss me,” because that’s the only way you’re catching up.
Emily and Wolf seem to have a nice time, walking around Croatia, drawing on the Lennon wall and chatting. But when it comes time to lock some random lock on a fence, Wolf can’t lock it up. A terrible foreshadow, but unfortunately true. On a sidenote, what the hell was that lock thing anyway? And why do all of these cities have such freaky traditions?
Later that night, Emily and Wolf have dinner in a romantic dungeon. He opens up and tells Emily about his ex-girlfriend who turned her phone off for three days and cheated on him. The ex-girlfriend sounds like a huge slut, and Emily seems touched by his story. Of course, being the gentleman that he seems to be, Wolf called friends, police stations, and hospitals looking for his ex-girlfriend, but didn’t look in some doctors bed, which is apparently where she was holed up. Literally.
Back at the house… The group date card arrives and Chris isn’t getting his much anticipated 1-on-1. We see fire flaming out of Chris’s eyeballs. Can we say aggressive and creepy?
Wolf arrives home from his date after some smooching, which reminds Sean that he misses Emily. The logical thing to do would be to run around the surrounding area, screaming her name and hoping to find her. So, that’s what he does. And what do you know… He magically bumps into Emily, and her 13 cameramen, roaming the streets of Prague. Get outta town!
Emily and Sean spend some quality time together before making out up against another wall in Prague. And Sean throws in a little dry humping, which I’m not minding either. Honestly, this show is completely corrupting my visual of what a make-out scene could be like. From now on, I’m only kissing guys up against walls in European countries. The bar has been set, gentlemen.
Emily, Doug, Chris and Sean ride a horse and buggy in the rain up to a castle, which according to Tour Guide Emily, was built in the 13th century. If Emily doesn’t find love, she definitely has a career ahead of her in tourism.
Emily and Doug spend some time together and he shies away when their legs touch. Because Doug doesn’t want to play footsie, Emily knows that it’s time to send him packing. And then, Doug pulls out one of the most awkward kisses in the show’s history… Going in for the smooch when someone is trying to send you home… AWKWARD. Emily says goodbye to Doug and he completely breaks down in the limo. This was tough to watch.
The now 2-on-1 date is getting more and more uncomfortable as the night goes on. Emily is presented with two keys for time alone with the guys. The first opens a room for her first 1-on-1 chat, and I’m hoping the second opens up her chastity belt. Sean takes the bigger key and whisks Emily into a room where they chat about meeting Sean’s family. Then Chris gets his time and tells Emily that he was about to go crazy and bitches about not getting a 1-on-1 date. It’s a good thing Chris talked about being so mature, because he’s showing it!
Ready to meet Sean’s family, he gets the rose. And Chris is infuriated.
Jef’s date was definitely the cutest this week. Something about Jef is beyond adorable and everything he says is starting to make me giggle like a schoolgirl. First, they head to a puppet store and act out being a family. Then, they make their way into a beautiful library to put on a puppet show. Personally, I could think of much better activities for an abandoned library, but a puppet show is cool too. I think Jef confessed his love for Emily, via puppet, so that’s neat.
Jef and Emily lay down on a random blankie and talk about what it will be like to meet Jef’s family. His parents are away doing “some stuff” for a few years (sketchy), but Emily will get to meet his siblings. They talk about living together and the fact that they both want to wait until they’re married because then it’s harder to change your mind. I won’t even begin to give my personal opinion on this one. Touchy!
And then Jef comes out with the best line of the season, saying “I wanna date you so hard and marry the f*ck out of you.” Ah-maz-ing.
Emily’s mind is made up, so she doesn’t want to put the guys through a cocktail party. The guys line up and Chris is shakin’ like bacon. If I was Wolf, I would’ve reached over during his mini-seizure and whacked him in the nuts. Chris needed a stiff one, and I’m not talking about Sean’s big key. After Arie and Jef get roses, Chris halts the ceremony to explain himself to Emily in private.
He admits that he was acting like a boy yesterday and should’ve been more respectful. If yesterday was a boy, today is a toddler. Man up, Chris!
Emily gives Chris the rose and sends Wolf home because she doesn’t think their relationship was moving as fast as the others. Personally, I would’ve cut Chris loose based on his borderline-serial-killler tendencies, but who knows.
What’d you think of this week’s episode? Things are getting steamy, finally! Which hometown date are you most excited for? Leave some comments!