Before heading on her Hometown Tour, Emily pops back into Charlotte to visit Little Ricki, who made her plenty of “Welcome Home” signs. While Emily was gallivanting around Europe, Little Ricki was in Jamaica getting her hair braided.
In case we weren’t sure about her feelings, Emily went through all of the remaining men and let us know how she felt about each of them. Chris has so many things she’d want in the man she spends her life with, Jef has something special, she’s attracted to Arie and Sean makes her feel safe. Blah, blah, blah!
Chris’s Hometown Date in Chicago
Since Emily brought Chris to so many castles in Europe, Chris brings her to one in Chicago. I guess this is the new version of hot tubs and helicopters – on a much less cool level. He lets her know that he’s first generation Polish and on a scale from 1 to Polish, his family is Polish. And on a scale from 1 to Crybaby, Chris is Crybaby.
Before heading home to meet the Fockers, Emily and Chris head to “Smack Tak,” which means “Taste Yes” in English [Thank you Polish friend, Paul] for a couple of beers. Chris apologizes for the last rose ceremony and admits that he felt like a dick for being such a little baby. At least he recognized it! Because on a scale from 1 to “I was acting like I had no balls,” Chris was “Acting like he had no balls.”
Emily’s anxious to meet Chris’s family because she hasn’t met many boyfriends’ parents before, but lucky for her, she’ll rack up the numbers this week! Just like Ben’s sister was a Courtney look-alike, Chris’s sister looks just like Emily. His parents think that Chris is ready to be a Dad and will love and support Emily no matter what. Unless he isn’t getting his way… Then he might throw a tempter tantrum and need time out. Emily’s doppelganger tells her that if she knows he isn’t going to be the one, to end it now rather than drag it out. Hence his later elimination…
Before leaving, Chris tells Emily that he’s never felt like this before and he’s in love with her. Then, they have an interesting Polish Fiesta that may have made me run as fast as humanely possible… At least to the bar.
Jef’s Hometown Date in Utah
Emily pulls up to Jef’s family ranch, immediately thinking – JACKPOT. This place is absolutely beautiful, and although I’m not sure I’d be down with living on a ranch forever, his place is tempting. Jef takes a card from Arie’s book and straps her into a race car-ish thing and drives through the property. After the drive, they go shooting, which Emily is familiar with from her “hoodrat West Virginia” days. Jef shows her how to “cock it,” which leaves me slightly speechless, and then says he wants to see her hold a gun all day long. Mhmm… That’s what she said.
Jef’s parents are in South Carolina doing charity work, AKA Mormon Stuff, so Emily gets to meet his siblings and their kiddies. Everything went pretty perfectly in my opinion. Jef’s siblings all seemed to get along great with Emily. His sister asked about moving which was interesting to hear and according to Emily, she’d go anywhere for a family. Except Austin with Brad Womack.
Then, Emily and Jef head off on their own and he reads her a letter her wrote to her on the plane ride back from Prague. Unlike Ryan’s awkwardly long and poorly timed letter, this was perfect. Honestly, I got chills and in that moment, Jef pulled ahead as my favorite.
Arie’s Hometown Date in Scottsdale
Arie’s hometown date was in Scottsdale, which was slightly disappointing since he’s from the Netherlands. How cool would a hometown date in Amsterdam have been? Everyone could’ve taken magic mushrooms and smoked joints together before having street waffles and heading to the Red Light District. No? Just me? Moving along…
Emily meets Arie at a racetrack and all she wanted was to kiss him. After a quick make-out session, they get Emily geared up and race around the track. Emily knows that this is Aries passion and if they get married, it’ll be hers too. Wasn’t this hers already?
After racing and getting their juices flowing, they take a stroll to a park and sit down to talk about Arie’s Euro-fam. He tells her that his Dad is funny, laid back and charming, and the real challenge will be winning over his Mom.
We arrive at the Luyendyk house and immediately, I’m wishing they’d give me some subtitles. And so does Emily! Because when they start chatting in Dutch, I think Emily feels as awkward as I do when I’m getting a pedicure and I know those ladies are gossiping about my feet.
Arie’s Mom wants to know what happened with Emily and Brad and why that didn’t work out, which she assures her is because their fundamentals weren’t the same… AKA bBad was an angry beast and she couldn’t handle it. In the end, Emily won over the Euro-fam, although I’m still not convinced she fits in.
Sean’s Hometown Date in Dallas
Sean meets Emily in another park with his two dogs – immediate bonus points for Sean. They pick flowers, run around, and play with his pups. OMG Em, your lives could blend together so easily! Sean tells Emily about his latest three year relationship that fell apart because he just wasn’t that into her. Then, they make out.
Here’s my take on Sean. I love Sean… Gorgeous, good guy, great family, etc. I think Emily loves Sean on paper but I don’t think shes totally into him. I think he’s the guy that she wants to be in love with because he’s a smart choice.
We head to Sean’s house, but truthfully, I’d much rather chill in Kensington’s Cottage. And I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say so would Little Ricki. Sean plays a little joke on Emily and pretends that he still lives home. She’s worried because he’s a total mess and has a stuffed animal fetish. Personally, I could get into the stuffed animal thing, but the messiness would put me over. Luckily, this was a joke. Gotcha, Em!
Sean’s family was awesome all around… Stand up people, especially his Dad. And his mom was immediately Emily’s biggest advocate. After meeting the family, Emily sees her and Little Ricki’s lives meshing perfectly with theirs. Uh, duh – Kensington’s Cottage.
Emily and Sean say goodbye and once again, Sean goes running after Emily screaming her name. I sure hope this isn’t a sign for the future of their relationship. At least Sean’s getting a good workout in.
Rose Ceremony
Emily, who called up Pauly D’s hairdresser for a blowout, is scared to send one of the guys home because all of the families were so kind and wonderful to her. Let’s be serious though, Em, you don’t like Chris.
With no surprise, Chris is sent packing, probably because of his hideous tie/pocket flair combination, or the Polish Fiesta. Who knows. Chris wants an explanation because he this he’s ten times the man that Arie, Sean and Jef are. Eh… I’m gonna call bullshit on that. Chris still has a lot of growing up to do.
Here we have our top three. Who would you pick for Emily? Who would you pick for yourself? Reality Steve will have the finale scoop today, so if you’re interested in spoilers, head on over to his site. I have a feeling this won’t be a conventional ending.
