Half of this episode was all crying, which means this will be the shortest post of the season. I hate crying. This episode should’ve been all about the Fantasy Suite and getting jiggy with it. Instead, TEARS.
Drew and Des drove around Antigua, stopped to make out a few times and then limbo’ed with the locals. Then they munch on some pineapple slices and talk about Drew’s sister, all while Des is thinking about Brooks.
Dinner gets rained out which is a plus, because she’s already in pajama pants and this leaves more time for the Fantasy Suite. Jonathan would be proud! Drew and Des talk about being open and ready, which is something I’d prefer a guy never refer to me as.
While Brooks is back in Idaho crying to his family, Chris is taking our token hobo, AKA Des, to the beach. Seriously, what is with her crocheted top and linen man pants? I’m not fashionable and I don’t pretend to be, but seriously, what the f*ck?
Chris and Des make out in the sand, which has never really appealed to me. What part of sand all up in your vajay sounds hot? Get a blanket.
At dinner, Des and Chris talk about their future and the possibility of Des moving to Seattle. Then, he snatches up the Fantasy Suite card, reads another poem and completely kills the mood. If Des had a penis, it’d be flaccid.
Brooks Screws Shit Up
Rather than go with the flow of the show, Brooks decides that 42 days isn’t enough time to be fully in love and ready for marriage. HOW DARE HE! He tells C-Harrison that he does not think that Des is the love of his life.
He meets Des on a dock and drops a bomb on her. She’s in love and he’s not. He rambles A LOT and makes no sense and they both cry. For about 40 minutes, until the episode ends and he leaves.
Des is sad because she thought he was the one. If I were Drew or Chris, I’d be livid.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS NEXT WEEK?! MOST DRAMATIC FINALE EVER.