Desiree and the guys traveled to Atlantic City, New Jersey, one of the sleaziest spots my home state has to offer! The camera crew followed Desiree along the boardwalk, avoiding shots of homeless people and trash balls to make the destination look a little spiffier. Since Revel is the new hot-spot, the whole episode was centered around it. For anyone who hasn’t been, it’s a pretty awesome hotel. I highly recommend it! Just don’t leave the premises.

Brad’s Date

The first date, and possibly most boring date of all time, goes to Brad. They hang out on the boardwalk, visit a candy factory, and shove chocolate in each other’s faces. The guys watch from up above with fear because according to Zak, “Things always happen on a carousel.” Right… I bet many babies are made on carousels.

Dinner was just as boring as the rest of their date, as was the trip up to the top of the lighthouse. Desiree thought something was missing with Brad, as did I, so she sent him home to be with his son. Lucky for Brad he’s really good looking.

Group Date – Mr. America

This was hands down my favorite group date in Bachelorette history. The men showed up at Boardwalk Hall to find out that they were competing in a Mr. America Pageant. Michael dreamed of this as a child, which made me slightly uneasy. Miss America and Christopher Dean are going to teach them how to strut their stuff in a Q&A, talent and bathing suit competition.

The guys find out that the competition will be in front of a live audience and they all feel the pressure to perform… Probably not the first time.

First up is the interview/Q&A portion, which left me with these memories: Brooks thinks he is Mufasa from Lion King, Chris wants to dine out more often with his ladies, and Juan Pablo wants to find someone that will love his daughter. Say what!? Juan Pablo is a Dad?! DILF.

The talent portion of the competition was pretty hysterical.

• Kasey was awkwardly good at tap dancing.
• Mikey watched Magic Mike one too many times.
• Brooks sings a very funny song.
• Drew gets on his knees and recites poetry.
• Chris looks damn good with his shirt off, regardless of his hula-hooping skills, and is reminding me more and more of Adam Levine (melt).
• Bryden needs to stop pelvis thrusting at the judges.
• Zak has as really good voice and sings Des a pretty cute song.

The swimsuit portion was of course awesome, because none of these guys have any body issues. I could have done without Mikey’s tit jiggle, but to each is own.

Kasey pulls out a win, with Zak and Brooks coming in second and third. Personally, not how I would’ve ranked it.

The rose is up for grabs at the after party, so the competition is still going down. Chris reads Desiree some poetry and then they make out, Ben pisses everyone off as usual, and Zak continues his song. Zak gets the rose and once again, pleasantly surprises me.

Back at the house, James is manscaping for his 1-on-1 date, drinking wine and eating chocolate covered strawberries in a bubble bath.

Jersey Shore 1-on-1

James and Desiree jump into a helicopter for a very different Bachelorette date, sponsored by the Red Cross. They get an up close view of the areas that were hit hard from Hurricane Sandy, specifically Seaside and Ortley Beach. Desiree misinterpreted the date, only hearing “going to the Jersey Shore” and rightfully so, chose James.

To put it into perspective, this date was filmed at least four months after the hurricane hit, and the damage was still terrible. Desiree and James stop off at a house in Seaside, visiting a sweet couple named Manny and Jan. After hearing how their lives were turned upside down, they gave their romantic Atlantic City date to them instead for their anniversary.

The crew takes them to the Showboat, which is kind of a rip-off, but still a nice night for them! Desiree and James stop at a pizza joint and have a low-key date. I can’t help but notice that Desiree looks SO happy around James on this date. Until he admits to cheating on his ex-girlfriend of 5+ years. In his defense, he cheated his freshman year of college… Does that really count? He was a child.

Before Manny and Jan head to the Fantasy Suite, they get a private concert, eventually joined by Desiree and James. And James gets the rose.

Cocktail Party & Rose Ceremony

Bryden’s junk is up in a bundle at the cocktail party and he isn’t sure if he’s going to stick around. On the other hand, Michael is doodling Desiree G. all over his notebooks and scoring himself a make out.

As I expected, Bryden accepts the rose after acting like a pansy, and Desiree sends Zack home. No big surprise there… Loved his converse sneaks on Night 1, but has he spoken since?

Group Date

For the group date, the guys are going to play dodgeball. What I’m more interested in is their attire. Guys look hot in athletic gear, until you throw them into short shorts which only helps decipher the size of each one’s package. They split up into two teams, head over to The Grove decked in their skimpy shorts and start playing ball.

Drew, the most underrated dodgeball player in Bachelorette history, pulls out some smooth moves, along with Chris and Converse Zack. Balls are flying all over the place like it’s Bachelor Pad. Brooks gets a finger injury, has to head to the hospital and unfortunately, his team loses. Zack pulls out the big win for the Blue Team, noting, “All I saw is the ball hit his other ball and explode! It was great!”

Des invites the whole crew to the party while Brooks cries like a little bitch at the hospital. And lucky for us, we get crotch shots.

At the afterparty, Brad gets some 1-on-1 time and let’s Des know about his deep past involving his son, alcoholic ex and domestic violence issues.

Chris steals her away to the rooftop and spends quality time with her and kind of steals my attention also. A bit nerd meets Adam Levin meets baseball player? #mytype!

Brooks comes back from the hospital screwed up on some painkillers and while I wonder where he got them and where I can find some, she gives the rose to Chris. They get a private concert and make out a bit.

Brian’s Girlfriend

Before Des heads out for her date with Kasey, Chris Harrison calls with some funky news. Des confronts Brian about his girlfriend back home and BOOM: In walks the Playboy model girlfriend. Stephanie is auditioning for a spot on next season’s Bachelor and after admitting to throwing rocks at Brian’s face during a fight, gets him kicked out of the house.

My question: If you tried to break up with him days before he left, why are you on national television making yourself look like a psychopath? Exactly. Brian and his mini pink t-shirt are sent packing.

Kasey’s Date

Kasey’s date seems to be like the morning after a drug binge for Desiree, because she’s quite somber and can’t snap out of her post-Brian funk. They dance along a building and then head to a rooftop for wine and chit-chat.

Kasey, who is a serious combination for Kasey Kahl and Tony Pieper, is getting the short-end of the stick between the weather and Des’s mood. He gets a rose.

Group Date

Outside the mansion a stagecoach and horses are waiting for the guys to head out on their Southern theme date. After arriving at the Rose n Thorn Ranch, the guys change into some sexy cowboy clothes and she tells them that whoever can break away from the pact will be her lone ranger.

They learn to draw their pistols, Dan splits his pants and Juan Pablo makes me melt. He wins the competition and gets a movie theater date with Des in a barn. Personally, I would not be able to watch the movie if I were her. They make out and I melt more.

Juan Pablo doesn’t get the rose and the date continues into the night with the other guys. I’m not sure why these dates are never ending and why this two hours feels like thirty. Bryden switched up his hair to the side part which gave him a few points. James told Des about his Dad back home having pancreatic issues and asked her if she really could see herself ending up with him. She gives him the rose and I give him my sign of approval.

Pool Party

As if this episode couldn’t get any longer, Des throws a pool party at the guys place and before kicking things off, Ben and his horrendously ugly tank top jump into Des’s car for a quick ride and make-out session.

Mikey thinks that Ben is deserving of a punch in the face. I think they’re both deserving of a wardrobe change. Ben tells Mikey, “My dating life isn’t public.” WHAT?!

Brandon gets super emotional, tells Des that he’s falling in love with her, and then asks her if he can tell her a secret. That secret is a kiss and I almost peed my pants because this happened to me in middle school. I really thought it was a secret.

And if this episode couldn’t get any more homoerotic…

Rose Ceremony

To avoid any further sadness, Des sends Brandon home at the Rose Ceremony, along with Ken Doll Dan. Brandon is All Cried Out.

Brooks’ Date

Des picks Brooks up in her new Bentley to head to a Bridal Shop – every guys fantasy date for sure! Tuck your balls back… It’s gonna be a blast. They try on outfits, get dressed up and hop back into the Bentley for an adventure. They end up at a cupcake truck, “tasting wedding cakes” and are greeted by psychotic fans that look like they’re about to shit their pants.

Next, they stay in their wedding gear and head to the HOLLYWOOD sign for a romantic moment. They think they’re floating on Cloud 9, but really it’s just the massive Los Angeles smog. After a nice make-out session, they continue the never-ending date on an abandoned bridge where Des makes Brooks uncomfortable by asking about his family. She’s like, “My parents are married and they have the most amazing relationship ever. You have divorced parents, right?” Boom. Brooks talks about his family struggles, Des finds it cute and they make out.

Brooks gets a rose and says that it was the most magical date ever. Any guy that considers a date magical still has his balls tucked away.

Then they get a private concert and dance the night away. Luckily they’re attractive because they can’t dance for shit.

Group Date – Right Reasons Rap Time

Des takes the guys to a winery to shoot a rap video for the group date. Yes, you read that correctly. What? Not a common venue for a rap video shoot? Weird.

Brandon, Ben, James and Michael G. are chosen for the star roles, acting out former Bachelorette contestants and I have to admit – pretty hilarious. They start spitting out their rhymes, which are quite unfortunate, but with a little practice, I was amused.

The most confusing for me was Brandon, playing Kasey Kahl, because I don’t remember Kasey being awkward and pantless, but who knows. My memory is foggy from years of drinking wine while watching this show.

Later that night, Zak comes out of the woodwork, with a shirt on, and gives Des a pretty cool antique gift, showing he’s more than a set of washboard abs.

Brandon proves that he is the official “Right Reasons Police Officer” and took his Kasey Kahl role to a whole new, and literal, level. He’s ready to guard and protect Des’s heart. That is, until Ben swoops in and steals her away for the first kiss. He may use his son to get into her pants (that sure sounds f’ed up), but it’s working.

Bryden’s Date

Bryden gets the second 1-on-1 date and Des takes him on a California Road Trip. They first stop for snacks, like Smartfood Popcorn and Swedish Fish, but I’m sure neither of them actually eat. They’re on the Bachelorette diet, duh.

They pick some oranges, throw them at each other, and we learn that Bryden doesn’t know what brie is. Any guy that doesn’t know cheese is a complete failure in my book.

They head up to Ojai and have a romantic candlelit dinner where Bryden reveals he was once in a terrible car accident. And just in case this topic of conversation came up, Bryden brought photos to show Des his smashed up face and car. Talk about an uplifting dinner conversation! Des flips through them as fast as humanly possible and then gives him a rose, because how could you not?!

Later in the hot tub, Des gets some liquid courage and when Bryden is being as awkward as humanly possible, she tells him to kiss her. Good girl, Des. #ladyinthestreet #freakinthebed – Kasey would be so proud of me.

Cocktail Party & Rose Ceremony

Des shows up to the cocktail party dressed as Poison Ivy and coincidentally, the men are acting like they have full-body poison ivy. I wouldn’t have been surprised if one of them literally pulled the poison ivy card, because we are seeing it all – Divorced parents, Car accidents, Drug addicts, Diabetes… next up? Chronic Explosive Diarrhea.

My man Michael G. and Des are having some great 1-on-1 time until Dad of The Year, Ben, shows up with his rose to ruin it. DRAMA!

Then Brian tells Des all about his “ex-girlfriend” while the other guys cry and pout in the corner.

In the end, Des cuts Will, Robert and Ginger Nick, which is not much of a surprise.

What’d you think of this week? Who are your favorites? Are you Team Ben or Team Everyone Else?

Each season I try to give my Top 5 this week, so here you have it… The first official Top 5 of the season. This time is a bit different – they’re unranked. I think it’s too soon to list these guys out, so in no particular order, here you have it:

Drew - When I saw him on ABC.com a few weeks ago, I knew he was beautiful, but this picture further proves my point. I really enjoyed him during the premiere. He has a heartmelting backstory, a gorgeous face and seems to be a total sweetheart. Could he be too nice?

Michael G – Something about Michael G. stood out to me and it might just be the fact that he’s cute and seems normal, something we can’t take for granted amongst this bunch! I thought his ‘coin in the fountain’ idea was creative and not too cheesy.

Juan Pablo – I usually hate accents. I can’t help it. But not here. Juan Pablo is SEXY, good looking and athletic. And if these pictures don’t convince you he’s a hottie, you might need an eye exam.

Ben – He might have completely used his adorable son to win over Des and get the first impression rose, but all is fair in love and Bach. The previews make me think this guy turns out to be lame real fast, but for now, Brodie earned him a Top 5 spot.

Chris – A little bit of a sleeper on Night 1 for me, but I enjoyed his ‘tie my shoe’ shtick. He’s a baseball player (maybe he’ll wear baseball pants in an episode? please?) and from this picture… I’m impressed.

What do you think of my choices? Yay or nay? Who would be in your Top 5? Leave some feedback!

If she’s not back in the house by midnight, it’ll turn into a pumpkin. Rather than a shirtless montage of Des exercising, she straps on some high socks and rollerskates around Santa Monica. Then, sits down for a chat with Chris Harrison about what she’s looking for: communication, companionship and a bad ass cuddler.

A quick preview of some of the men… We have a handful of sob stories, families battling addiction, and men looking for their soulmates.

Bryden – As I said weeks ago, the guy must fire his barber. He also had a weird growth next to his mouth that I couldn’t stop staring at. He’s in the military though, so I need to stop being mean now.

Drew – He is HOT. Honestly, that is one pretty face. I related to Drew on so many different levels, so immediately he’s one of my favorites.

Robert – Any guy that skateboards with their dog is hot.

Limo Arrivals

The limos begin to arrive and as expected, Des looks stunning, the grounds are wet and Chris Harrison is on-point. I’m not going to go through all 25 entrances because frankly, some sucked, but here were my personal highlights:

Drew – Again, meltworthy.

Brad – He brought a wishbone, which was cool, assuming there wasn’t any leftover chicken juice on it.

Michael G – Attempts to pull a coin out of the fountain and then asks Des to make a wish and throw a new one in. I like him.

Kasey – This guy needs to stop speaking in hashtags ASAP #annoyingme #lame

Jonathan – Before Jonathan made an ass of himself inside, I actually thought he was funny and thought Des went a little hard on him. The fantasy suite card made me laugh!

Zak – I can’t decide if I liked or disliked his topless move. I think it was unique (Hey, if you’ve got it, flaunt it) but I would’ve put a shirt on once I got inside.

Larry – The ER Doctor seemed like a creep from the beginning, and definitely not a professional dipper.

The Magician – Turning a piece of paper into a rose was cool and all, but I’m sure Des would’ve preferred cash.

Diogo – The knight idea was creative, but he definitely didn’t factor in the heat. Sweaty knights aren’t hot.

Chris – Although a bit cheesy, I liked his “Will you mind if I tie my shoe?” line. I’m looking forward to seeing more of him.

Mike R – McDreamy failure.

Juan Pablo – Holy shit! This guy is sexy. I don’t care what that chocolate tasted like… I would’ve eaten anything he gave me.

Micah – Don’t design your own clothes again. Ever.

Ben – I have to give it to him… Best entrance of the night. Brody is a really cute kid and when he said, “I wish I could go to the party!” MELT.

Inside, the guys all fight to get some alone time with Des…

The Magician makes Des disappear and tells her that he’s only a magician on nights and weekends. PHEW!

Brandon admits that he skipped his own birthday party to go on an interview for The Bachelorette. Something I would never, ever do.

Then Ben tells Des the story of Brody. He had a kid with his best friend? Right… The real story probably goes like this: Brody’s mom and I were best friends, got real drunk and banged. Then came Brody! Either way, gets him a rose.

Zak takes off his pants and jumps into the pool. Lucky for him, it scored him a rose.

Bryden tells stories of Iraq and despite his hairstyle, gets a rose.

Juan Pablo shows Des how great he is with balls… During a quick game of soccer on the driveway, only making him even hotter.

Drew gets his rose by charming Des and talking about the butterflies he can’t get rid of.

Larry is convinced that he is the greatest dipper of all time and legitimately gets creepy during his time with Des. Remind me to never go to his ER.

And the creep of the night award goes to Jonathan, who really wants to kiss Desiree on the mouth… “My love tank has not been depleted in years.”

Maybe he depleted it, alone, in the Fantasy Suite? Well, Des sure wasn’t going to help him deplete it, sending him home before the Rose Ceremony for making her feel very uncomfortable.

Rose Ceremony

The Rose Ceremony wasn’t very dramatic, considering most of the roses were already given out and no one even knows who these guys are yet. Dipper, Magician and the Sweaty Knight all got the boot.

So, what do we think of this season? Going to be a good one? It sure looks like A LOT of drama and tears. Check back later this week for my first TOP 5 post. And let me know who your early favorites are!

On top of it, ABC threw a wrench in the format, posting part of each contestant’s application. If this was Bachelor, the ladies would likely have legible handwriting with little hearts and stars all over the place. But because it’s a bunch of dudes, I felt like I was trying to decipher Chinese. Needless to say, I lost interest pretty quickly.

Before I get to it… As a reminder, these are very preliminary thoughts based on an elementary school style photo shoot and a few Q&A’s. It’s not gonna be pretty and I’m not sorry about it.

Ben: He wishes he lived during the time of Jesus and also likes to play laser tag.

Brad: At first glance, I’m a bit confused. You’re an accountant and a DJ? Apparently it’s for a restaurant and bar, but to me… He sounds like a club promoter that loves electronic music festivals. He also must get his eyebrows threaded.

Brandon: If he was stranded on an island, he’d bring vitamins. Such a realist.

Brian: If he could be anyone for the day, he would choose Donald Trump. My question – With or without the combover? Brian also has big feet.

Brooks: I’m into the fact that family seems really important to him. I also think I hate his photo and he looks artsy.

Bryden: Bryden needs to fire his barber immediately. #refund

Chris: Pro-baseball players are always hot, no matter what their face looks like. Have you seen those pants?

Dan: He sounds like he’s already given up on meeting someone at the young age of 30. Get it together, dude.

Diogo: What’s up with this name? A drunken spelling of Diego? He also likes to date girls that look “girly.” Well, that’s just mind blowing.

Drew: Oh hey, Drew. I’m Jen. (hot) Although he doesn’t sound like the brightest crayon in the box… Bringing four items to a deserted item when he was asked to bring three… I’ll make an exception considering one item was a case of cabernet. And sign me up for that island.

James: Although he looks frightened, I like James solely based on the fact that he spills red sauce on his white shirts. I like a boy who can eat.

Jonathan: His biggest fear on a date is having no chemistry. Really? I could think of many worse things. Like , surprise! She has a penis. Or, surprise! We’re cousins.

Juan: He’s hot until you notice how deep his v-neck goes. Did he weigh that down with weights?

Kasey: Striking resemblance to Tony (i.e. Crying Dad on Emily’s season that was engaged to Blakeley for 5 minutes).

Larry: The ER doctor is definitely out of place here. It’s really great to know that he has a “phobia” of drowning and being buried alive. Can’t wait to see how the producers use that one for added drama!

Micah: Sounds really deep. He likes when his date is cool and doesn’t like when his date isn’t cool. 

Michael G: Smokin’.

Mike R: He’s from London and hopefully has a weird accent that I can consistently make fun of. And by consistently, I mean for the one episode he’ll be on the show.

Mikey T: Seriously, where do you find such deep v-necks? Jersey Shore t-shirt shop? Mikey’s chest also looks incredibly smooth. Wax much?

Nick M: He seems way too nice and simple. He’ll be gone on Night 1.

Nick R: He’s a tailor and a magician. Well doesn’t that sound magical? He can hem your pants and then pull a rabbit out from his ass. Talk about a memorable first date!

Robert: From Arizona and a slight resemblance to Arie. Can he kiss?

Will: The one thing that Will won’t do for love is meth. Well that’s just great.

Zach K: Nothing is standing out except for the fact that he has a golden retriever. Immediate cool points.

Zak: Well this is a new and awkward well to spell the simple name, Zach/Zack. How inventive! He recently bought a flying wooden pig with his mom. If that’s not a turn on I don’t know what is.

So, there you have it – 25 dudes fighting for one heart. My favorites based solely on being shallow? Chris, Drew and Michael G.

How about you all? Favorites? Duds? Give me your thoughts! Looking forward to a great season ahead.

I only had a chance to taste the margarita and the mojito, partially because I tried to not mix liquor and be sick. Also, I’m not a big fan of sweet drinks and tend to shy away from moscato. The Sweet & Tart Grapefruit Margarita was DELICIOUS. I’m a huge margarita fan and love grapefruit, so it was a perfect combination. My mom was drinking the mojito all night, which I sampled and it was solid also.

Bethenny rounded up a hot group of “bartenders” for the evening, which was even more exciting than the cocktails. Put Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Tyson Beckford, JP Rosenbaum, Chris Bukowski and Graham Bunn in a room together… I don’t care what the drinks are.

And yes, Maksim Chmerkovskiy is the best looking guy I’ve ever been so close to.

Thanks to Skinnygirl for a fabulous event! Go out and try the new flavors… You won’t be disappointed!

Last Sunday I was out to dinner with my parents and grandmother when the topic of Sunday Anxiety came up. I told them all that my friend and I were both suffering from Sunday Anxiety, which is probably the reason that Cinderella on Broadway led me to tears three times. Don’t judge. They all looked confused and wanted to know what Sunday Anxiety was. All asking, “So, you just have anxiety?” No, it’s different.

It must be a generational thing. Adults don’t get it. Sunday Anxiety has become an actual issue amongst 20-somethings and 30-somethings that are still living the dream. So, how does it happen? What is Sunday Anxiety? Well, let’s take a look.

Monday thru Friday, you’re counting down the seconds until the weekend. You can’t wait to be free and not be tied down to working. You may have a ton of wild plans. You may have no plans. But there’s shit to do this weekend and you’re going to get it done. TGIF, baby! Next thing you know… It’s Sunday. You’ve possibly had the best weekend ever, but you’ve accomplished nothing. You’re hungover and your to-do list is still a mile long. Maybe you feel fat from late-night eating. Your feet may hurt from that storm you were dancing up.

And then reality sets in… You’ve run out of time and you have to go to work tomorrow. You have to rest up and get your shit together because you have five days in a row of work ahead of you, with only a glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel – Next weekend.

How does one beat Sunday Anxiety? It’s quite difficult. Once it’s set in, ridding yourself of it isn’t easy. You have limited options:

• Sleep as long as humanly possible, shortening the length of your Sunday and therefore shrinking the amount of time you’re aware of your Sunday Anxiety.
• Get real productive, real fast. It’s scrambling time. Get your ass to the gym, stop at the food store, clean your room. And then pray it’s gone.
• Wake and bake. This may work for some people. Others it could potentially make matters much worse and turn Sunday Anxiety into a full blown panic attack. Proceed here with caution.
• Drink. This also could work… Hair of the dog! But you may be pushing yourself into the Monday Anxiety zone which is dangerous to show up at work with.

Who else has Sunday Anxiety out there? Any cures? Recommendations? Leave some comments, kids!

It’s obvious that we went to college in different parts of the country, because I never had a bellini until after college. Nickel beers was more my speed.

After reading his post and thinking about when girls (and guys) should give it up, the overwhelming thought that keeps coming back to me is WHENEVER THEY WANT. If a lady goes on a first date and feels like she wants to give up the goodies, by all means, give ‘em up. Do I think that a guy is going to consider you marriage material? Like Mitch noted, not particularly. If a lady wants to wait until Date #10, that’s fine too. One suggestion I have for ladies with a “date minimum” rule, don’t tell anyone that, especially the guy. You will look like a psychopath and kill all sexual chemistry. I recently read an awesome memoir by Ophira Eisenberg called Screw Everyone.  It’s all about how she spent most of her life saying “yes” to everything—and everyone—and how that attitude ultimately helped her find the one, without really looking for him. Mad respect.

I’m not a fan of rules, not a fan of time limits, or restrictions for dating in general. It should be a natural process. Hold off on responding to a text message? Look busy? If I want to respond, I’m going to respond. If a guy thinks that I write back too quickly… his loss. Don’t text a guy first? If I want to, I’m going to. I get that these “rules” can be helpful, but they’re guidelines, not rules.

So there you have it… My short thoughts on the subject matter. Moral of the story? Do whatever you want. Do what makes you happy. Because the person you really need to impress? It’s yourself.